I have talked about the first step of getting to know one's own energy, and as a preparatory step, to let go of some of your withholdings toward your physical life, describing it as your armor and helmet. I have also discussed a bit about looking at your motive for wanting to do this study. The second step is what to do about the energy that you have discovered in your heart, or rather, what to do with yourself.
In this second step, it is critical to know the warmth of your mother. It is essential that you turn your heart toward your mother, and try to recall the warmth of your mother through the practice of meditation. This is so you can learn that your true self is simply this warmth in your heart.
However, this is not exactly an easy task. We all have a long history in our hearts of having heavily turned our backs to this warmth. People who haven't done any reflection of their hearts are not even aware that they have turned their backs to their mother's warmth. So, it must be unimaginable to them that they would have a history of having turned their backs on their mother's love.
If you listen to what I have said and continue to practice self-reflection of your heart, you'll soon realize that you believed in a false self; that your physical self was your true being. Then, you will begin to encounter your numerous feelings and thoughts that have accumulated inside your heart.
Those numerous thoughts that you turned your back on will begin to seek warmth and increasingly attempt to gain your attention. Once you loosen your grip from your firm belief in your physical self, in the physical world and its values, shedding yourself of your armor and helmet, you will begin to feel your own heart's attempts for you to realize your energy. This will feel to you as something tremendous, awful and treacherous.
But, as you move forward in your process of understanding and believing in your true Self, even those treacherous, tremendous energies in your heart will dissolve. Going through these steps of reflection does not mean that you will forever be ruled by your own negative energy. Your negative energy will never completely disappear from your heart, but you should not feel out of control as if you are losing yourself, nor spew your negative energy to others in your life.
This is because you will feel a part of you that you can trust completely when you meditate, turning your heart toward your mother. Through the meditation of turning your heart toward your mother, you will be able to feel through your heart the difference between your false self and your true Self. Kayo Shiokawa was one who was able to move through this process step-by-step. It is not as easy for most to follow these steps to move forward in the right direction.
For most people, if they continue to attend the seminars, they will become sensitive to vibrations, feelings, and energy. If one is unable to feel their own energy in their heart, even if one is told by others that their energy is terrible, that they are wrong, they are not going to be able to really understand. This is because we all wear our armor and helmet of belief in our physical selves, so it is inevitable that we don't understand, and it is rather normal. It is necessary to first loosen our withholdings on our belief of our physical selves, allow our own energy to be felt by our physical selves, and to become sensitive to vibrations, feelings, or energy. This may be the quickest way to begin this study.
A problem arises when people become sensitive to vibrations or energy before they come in contact with this study. These people have become sensitive to feelings before they have had a chance to realize the warmth inside their hearts. I am sure that people who have attended past seminars have seen and have learned through such people that one has not succeeded or completed their study just because they have become sensitive to vibration and energy. People whose hearts have become sensitive to vibration, but are only sensitive to their own dark energy, are even harder to deal with than those who do not yet feel anything. It is often difficult for people who are not aware of their warmth to realize that they are the ones directing their own dark energy to control them. Also, even if they are aware that it is their own dark energy, they are often unable to do anything about it.
It is here that I would like to make a clear statement. If you are unable to sleep, unable to eat, you must first see a doctor where you should receive treatment so that you are able to get the sleep you need. You must regain the natural rhythm of your life by getting plenty of sleep, waking in the morning, and sleeping at night. Eating well, getting enough sleep, and setting up the natural rhythm of your daily life also are important prerequisites to doing this study. If you do not have a good rhythm of everyday life, you cannot do real work with your body. For the time being, regain the body's normal condition of eating and sleeping. Once your condition settles with medication, if needed, reflect well on the cause of what distracted your daily rhythm. Once you do, you will realize that there is a part of you that is blocking you from reflecting on your heart.
On one hand, you might feel that you must do self-reflection on your heart; while on the other hand, you may feel there is another part of you that resists reflection, a part of you that is persistently urging you not to look at your heart. For people who constantly hear voices in their heads and are unable to sleep, they must be in such terrible anguish, but there must also have been a reason for having arrived at that state. If you are someone in this condition, is there something you can think of that may have led to this?
While people who are sensitive to vibrations have their sensitivity as a challenge, I also think that these people have an even greater opportunity to change what is negative within themselves to what is positive once they begin practicing what I have said. When such people come to realize and accept that they, themselves, made the choice to become one who is sensitive to vibrations, I am sure they will feel joy and thankfulness even in the pain and suffering they are able to feel. Once these people take the right steps, they will spread true happiness and joy throughout their hearts even more so than people who are stuck believing in their physical selves. For all the suffering they felt throughout their lives, once they begin to change, they move forward in their study very quickly.
However, this path is a very rough and challenging route. There are other life circumstances that can also make one's path challenging. There are times when navigating on the right path becomes difficult because of the environment where one is born, or where one ends up as an adult.
I imagine that each of you have your own challenges or hardships, but I hope, from my heart, that as people who have received the chance to learn of the true world while in their physical bodies, you will walk earnestly along this path without rushing or giving up.
It is really quite a difficult task to attempt to search the truth within yourself while living in this muddy stream or rather flooded torrent of our physical world. Even though it is difficult, it is not something you can avoid or neglect. The more you come to know your own energy, the more you will feel a piercing demand within yourself to clear the second step of this study. You will come to a point where you will have to come face-to-face with yourself whether you want to or not. In fact, in the past you have had to face such difficult challenges. You prepared many obstacles in your life to make it difficult for you to turn directly toward the truth.
Did you ever stop to ask yourself, "Why is it that I prepared such obstacles between myself and the truth?" You may have, in fact, never even thought that you yourself prepared these obstacles in your life.
If you really reflect on your heart and understand through your heart what energy you harbor, you will likely begin to feel that this energy of obstacles comes from gentleness. You will find that it was none other than a gentle encouragement to "please change your negative energy to positive energy," and "please encircle this energy with mother's warmth." Once you realize this and begin to do so, these obstacles will no longer be obstacles to you. You will feel and understand in your heart that you placed these obstacles in your path because you wanted so much to find the truth.
The point is that it is important to learn of your mother's warmth through the meditation of turning your heart toward your mother, and to continue to expand that feeling inside your heart.
For someone who has yet to realize that they have and continue to spread only negative energy, it will take a bit more time because they are still in a state of stagnancy. There will eventually come a time when they are urged to realize this; so although they may not feel anything at the time, this only means that it will take a little longer before their pain can finally surface. If you have been reflecting on your own heart and have started to feel your own energy, you are already at the point of being urged toward the next step.
You will start to realize the difficulty of trying to clear your heart's negative energy without first discovering your mother's warmth and love. As you become more sensitive to vibrations, and especially because your heart now senses vibrations, you begin to understand that your mother's warmth is what is most important.
Incidentally, the mother I am referring to when I speak of meditating is not the same as the mother that you see or talk to in your daily life. At first, you will probably spend time quietly closing your eyes while imagining or thinking of your mother who gave birth to you. Even though you may have taken off your "armor and helmet" and have softened just slightly in your heart, we are still people who believe strongly in our physical selves. Therefore, you will need to first start with thinking of your physical mother that you know.
Everyone has gone through the practice of writing their thoughts about their mother in a notebook before beginning the practice of meditation. After having done so, they may feel that some of those thoughts had really been unappreciative or disrespectful. In our physical minds, I am sure that they will seem not to make sense, to be illogical. Those thoughts and feelings that seem unethical or ungrateful toward your mother may make you cry during your meditation in which you think of your mother. You may feel your mother's warmth and love, and this may make you feel remorseful or regretful.
I am not saying that this is at all the final completing step for meditating on your mother, but I think this is fine as a beginning step. You should continue your meditation on your mother while repeating meditation experiences such as this. And if you continue to meditate in this way, you will soon find that the image of your physical mother in your mind that you had at the beginning of your meditation practice will disappear without your knowing.
As you continue to move in this direction, you will come to sense the awful energy that emits from inside you, but you will simply feel happy about this. You will feel love for your own self that made the mistake of emitting negative dark energy, and you will begin to want to meet more of your real Self and energy inside you. Finally, you will begin to see me, Taike, in a different light. Your perspective of me, of Taike, will change from seeing me as a physical person to seeing my world through your heart. You will be able to see your world, the condition of your heart through Taike's eyes. Of course, everyone will at first see or sense the awful energy in one's heart. Every one will first face their own crazed condition in their hearts, an energy that screams, "Taike, I will kill you!"
It will not be joy, thankfulness, and happiness at first. I should also mention here that the energy of, "Taike, I will kill you!" is nowhere near the level of such physical feelings of hate such as "I hate ___ so much that I wish they'd just die" or "I can't stand you; just get out of my face." Frankly, this is your heart screaming, crying out. Your heart is screaming and crying out in search of your true Self, screaming, "I want to return to the warmth." And this is why, "Taike, I will kill you!" is an incredible and great joy. You will come to understand this naturally if you begin to feel mother's warmth through your meditation of thinking of your mother. And once you do so, the way in which you look at my eyes, Taike's eyes, will change.
By the way, people who still hold in their hearts the energy of wanting outer powers are unable to look me directly in the eye. Even if they are told to look into my eyes, they cannot look at me honestly and directly. Even for these people, I ask that they please continue to meditate daily and diligently, turning their thoughts to when they were just born. To meditate on the time when you were just born, simply go back to who you were when you were a baby being held in your mother's arms, drinking your mother's milk. Simply recall yourself as that baby, and meditate while thinking of your mother. A newborn baby does not think about anything and just simply feels happy to be held by his or her mother.
You may not recall that you had such a time, but your heart, your true Self remembers it. If I may add to this, even if you were never held, not even once, by your mother, you still have the time that you spent in your mother's womb. During the time in our mothers' wombs, we unmistakably were in our mothers' warmth. And during that time, you were simply just happy. You were simply at peace. You had to have been happy because you completely believed in and trusted your mother. You felt happy just being there in the joy of entrusting yourself to your mother. Without mistake, each and every one of us was given the opportunity to feel this. Your mother's consciousness told you each time you were born into a physical life that, "This is You. This is the real You."
By meditating and recalling the feeling of when you were born, you will be able to clearly feel the world in which you have created in your heart of seeking outer powers. You will start to clearly feel how tightly you have bound yourself, entangled yourself, to your world of seeking outer powers. You will come to understand in your heart why you have not been able to look Taike directly in the eye, and why your feelings of "Taike, I will kill you" is not able to change to true joy. And you will realize that the desire to seek outer powers inside your heart is not something insignificant that can be treated lightly. You will come to painfully find that you came into this world carrying with you a terrible, awful energy that cannot be taken lightly.
This is where our subject begins. Each time when you feel the warmth of mother, you will strongly sense in your heart that the route to joy and happiness is to tear down your feelings of thinking of yourself as great, of being right, of not having been mistaken, and of having led a respectful life. People who have been indifferent and careless toward their mother's warmth will find that their mistake will eventually come back to them. I believe that these people will eventually learn that they cannot live without their mother's warmth.