I was a great sinner—not merely because I used shrine maidens, or toyed with men, or had heads swiftly severed—but because I committed, over and over again, the grievous error of proclaiming a false god as divine.
How deeply have I repented this within myself?
As I turn my heart to Taike Tomekichi and Albert, and to Himiko, tears come.
How gravely I sinned—and yet, even so, here I am in this lifetime, gifted with the chance of a lifetime.
I have been given the opportunity to awaken to the sin of declaring a false god as real and sacred. I have been given the chance to repent from within.
That is what this life is for—my opportunity to learn.
Through Taike Tomekichi, I have been offered the chance to study the world of true vibration.
And to receive the message, "Turn your heart to Taike Tomekichi,"—what a message of love that is. My heart responds with nothing but gratitude.
Himiko speaks now:
"I am Queen Himiko.
I have continued to build and expand the world of Himiko through countless lifetimes.
My heart has remained unchanged.
Again and again I have received physical form, and with each life I have tasted the agonies of hell.
There were times I longed for the days of Himiko. I thought to myself, 'Why must I endure such suffering? I am supposed to be magnificent.'
And in such thoughts, my suffering only deepened."
Now, speaking of Himiko's heart has become a source of true joy for me.
I have come to understand that bringing everything within my heart out into the open—into the light of warmth—is a joy, a liberation.
Someone finally told me directly: "Himiko was mistaken."
And yes, that is precisely what I wanted to tell myself. I was wrong.
I wanted to acknowledge it, but I lacked the courage.
I did not have the courage to face myself.
I had placed all my trust in the belief that I was divine, that I was a sacred incarnation.
I carried that conviction through countless incarnations.
But Himiko was not a noble being. I was a being that had fallen to the ground—
It was even said that I crawled through the depths of hell. And indeed, that was true.
I suffered endlessly in the fires of hell. I cursed everything. I could not accept this suffering self.
My torment stemmed from the fact that I could not accept myself.
That was the root of the pain: my inability to accept myself.
How could I possibly accept someone so pitiful, so miserable, so unsightly as me?
I simply couldn't.
I could not admit that I had been wrong.
And that was my suffering—just as I had been told.
The pain was born of my inability to embrace myself.
Now, slowly—bit by bit—I release my suffering.
And from the space where the pain leaves me, I begin to feel gentle thoughts arise. I begin to feel warmth.
Ah… now I can breathe just a little more easily.
I never realized that it was I myself who had been causing my suffering.
※In the channeling text, the phrase "beheaded" is used. However, in that era, it was considered taboo for those of noble rank or priestesses serving the gods to shed blood. Therefore, it seems that strangulation was the more common method of execution. The expression "heads lopped off one after another" likely reflects how easily and casually these executions were carried out. (Editor's Note)