I am Himiko.
The warmth that once dwelled within me now gently guides me.
In this quiet, ever-expanding space, I look within.
How foolish I have been—
repeating the same mistakes again and again.
I am deeply sorry.
I never truly knew myself.
I did not know the joy or the warmth that lived within me.
The god I sought was not the true god.
It was a world I created—foolish and false.
Far from joy, I lived on in pitch-black darkness.
I could not say that I did not know god.
I feared going against god.
If I turned against god, what would become of me?
The thought alone was terrifying—
and so I clung to god with all my might.
That was the past I lived.
I continued to create the consciousness of Himiko.
I was a foolish being who passed down a god that never existed
as though it were real.
Now, I am told:
Please recognize this.
I am told:
The joy, the warmth, the expanding heart within you—
that is who you are.
If that is what we call god,
then yes, it was always there within me.
It was myself.
But I never knew myself.
I continued doing foolish things.
I am sorry.
These are the sorrowful, painful thoughts of mine
that I now speak.
From deep sorrow and suffering,
I have finally arrived at a point
where I can look at my mistakes.
And I have been told:
Awaken to joy, to warmth, to gentleness.
I will now gaze upon the foolish self I have been.
With my heart turned to Tomekichi Taike,
I once again think of Himiko.
To speak of Himiko is joy.
To think of her is joy.
It seems she is beginning to open her heart a little.
She speaks to me—
what I have conveyed is reaching her.
I hope she will come to believe more deeply
that joy, warmth, and gentleness were always within her.
And if she does,
the world of consciousness will begin to change.
As the vast darkness begins to shift,
it can ripple outward to shake the consciousnesses still bound to it.
I told Himiko:
Let the flow be.
Don't dam it.
Let it pass through you with honesty.