Himiko, I have spoken to you:
"There is joy and warmth within you—your mother's love is within you. Please, turn your thoughts to that true self within you."
I believe that, in your own way, you have felt that message in your heart.
Now, once again, I turn my thoughts toward you.
Please, tell me—what is in your heart now?
I am the consciousness that has been called Himiko.
Yes, I now clearly see that I was wrong.
I knew nothing. I understood nothing. I did not know who I truly was.
That is the self I now feel within me.
My mother's love resonates in my heart.
Though I was trapped in a long, long period of pain and darkness, when I felt my mother's love within, it began to speak to me:
"I am waiting for you. I am waiting.
Please, open your heart. Come back to me.
Return to me.
The joy and warmth within you—that is you.
That is my love. That is the mother's love."
When I felt that love, I truly realized how foolish I had been.
I am so sorry.
Though I understood nothing, I spoke as if I knew the divine truth.
I declared, "This is what the gods say."
I claimed to speak divine messages through myself.
But all I was doing was lifting myself high above others.
I put myself at the forefront.
And the truth is, I knew nothing.
Because I never looked within, I could only fall into darkness after death—deep into pitch-black shadow, sinking and frozen in place.
But now… now I am doing what I was told.
I was told, "Try calling out to your mother."
So I did. I called out to my mother.
And when I did, warmth began to spread within me.
My mother's love began to reach me.
"Come home. Come back to me."
So I now think of my mother.
Quietly, quietly, I gaze within.
I feel. I can now feel.
It's strange, but I feel so happy.
There was once nothing I could do but remain frozen.
But now, I can quietly, quietly observe myself.
Within my mother, within her warmth, I can feel myself, little by little.
And that alone has brought me some relief.