There is a common expression in religious language that says, "We are kept alive; we are forgiven." This way of speaking has also appeared in the context of this spiritual study.
However, what exactly sustains us—what grants us that forgiveness—depends entirely on the world of the heart of the one hearing those words.
For me, I interpret it in my heart as: I am sustained by myself; I am forgiven by myself.
I have come to recognize the existence of the energy that keeps me alive.
In other words, the physical "me" knows of the true "I" that exists beyond the form.
Even if this physical form disappears, the "I" does not. Because the "I" is energy.
It is through this energy that I am sustained and forgiven.
And I feel a deep joy in living in such a way that I do not interfere with the work of the "I."
My joy is the "I's" joy. My happiness is the "I's" happiness. That's how I feel it.
I am never alone. I am always with the "I."
The "I" knows me—down to the deepest recesses of my heart.
No matter how clumsy or unworthy I may appear to be, the "I" welcomes me from the heart.
There is no other partner like this.
Throughout my life, I sought and formed bonds with many partners.
And all of them, without exception, ended in failure.
No matter how solemn the vows exchanged, in the end, they often led to betrayal.
These "partners" were not only people in physical form.
They also included the so-called gods, Buddhas, and cosmic powers spoken of in the world of religion.
My heart sought many such partners.
And finally, in this lifetime, I have discovered the only true partner: the "I."
That "I" is the very energy that sustains me.
Yes—I am the "I."
Let me ask you—have you ever truly felt grateful for being born to your mother?
Have you ever, in your day-to-day life, felt the existence of the energy that keeps you alive?
If you were to encounter the energy that sustains you, I believe your entire way of seeing, thinking, and valuing the world would be utterly transformed.
Your standards for happiness and joy would shift completely.
Even if nothing has changed on the outside, within, everything has changed.
You begin to see the world through two perspectives: the eyes of the physical "me" and the eyes of the true "I."
At first, this duality may create confusion within.
But eventually, you will come to understand—naturally and from the heart—that the view from the "I" is the view of truth.
This confusion is only temporary.
From there, the world of truth will steadily expand within your heart.
The values you once held will be gradually replaced.
As this process unfolds, I believe you will reach the conclusion that your only true partner is the "I."
You will come to understand that the "I" is the Mother—it is the Mother Universe.
To a heart that has come to know true happiness, true joy, warmth, and peace, the substitutes offered by the physical world will feel unbearably shallow and hollow.
The physical body longs for warmth, for the company of others.
It seeks healing, gentle words, kind embraces.
It pleads: "Please soothe my heart, please hold me in warmth, please be kind to me."
It cries out for help, for salvation, for power.
But in time, you will come to know that all of this was a mistake.
The "I" has always been trying to communicate to me the mistake of living without knowing the true "I."
And in remembering that, I feel nothing but gratitude toward the "I."
All I can do is say thank you—with my words, with my heart.
Even though I continued to betray the "I," the "I" never betrayed me—never gave up on me.
And I came to know this through the physical form of Tomekichi Taike.
In that sense, the physical being of Tomekichi Taike was indispensable to me—
A message the "I" communicated directly to my heart.