I now know with certainty that the joy and happiness that I used to pursue had been wrong. Now I know that was just as I thought. Everything makes perfect sense, once I accept the premise that everything that I used to pursue was wrong. However, like I stated earlier, as long as one continues to lead his/her life based on the belief that the physical world is the true world, one will not even know what premise he/she needs to accept. One will not know that he/she had been wrong, and even if he/she recognized that he/she was wrong, he/she will not be able to accept that fact. Unless one can accept himself/herself as having been wrong, he/she will not be able to even begin to pursue this study of the heart.
However, most people think that they have already begun pursuing this study a long time ago. Many people may be thinking they have made much progress, having put effort into pursuing this study for a long time. However, when they stop for a moment to look back at how much progress they have actually made, many people may be shocked at the fact that they had not yet even begun pursuing this study. In some cases, by the time people realize this, they may be in their final years of life.
If one realizes that he/she had not been making any progress or even been regressing when he/she had thought that he/she had been putting effort into pursuing this study, the person will most likely think, "I have been holding onto things that had been preventing me from making progress and even been making me regress while I thought I had been pursuing this study. The last thing I would want to do is pass away without changing at all." However, in a sense, if a person realizes this as being his/her state, he/she could be said to be rather lucky. Even if the person was in his/her final years of life by the time he/she comes to the preceding realization, the person will still have a physical body. That one has a physical body means that he/she still has time left to change. Then, regardless of the degree of change he/she may make, if he/she does make a change, I believe that person's life could be said to have been a success.
Regardless of how beautiful and shiny the life led by someone had been, if the person passed away without knowing that the shinning of his/her life does not last forever, I would feel sorry for that person.
On another note, what kinds of things do you wish for? Please try to honestly ask yourself what you wish for. In addition, ask yourself whether you currently have those things that you wish for.
In my case, the thing I wished for was an answer to the following question: "Is there a truth to this world, and if there is, what is it?" I can say that I found the answer to my question. Although of course the truth that I found is not something visible to the eye, it was the answer to the question I was looking for. I found the truth to this world.
In this study of the heart, the truth is referred to with various expressions, including the following: 1) the world of Tomekichi Taike, 2) the world of Albert, and 3) mother universe. Regardless of which expression the truth is referred to with, there was a truth to this world.
Although I had previously fallen into complete emptiness and loneliness, I can say that I am happy because I was able to realize with certainty that there is a flow of consciousness and a true world.