本書は、著者が自らの人生を振り返り、父の病気と死、結婚、夫の死という二つの大きな出来事を通して、本当の自分と出会うまでの歩みを綴った記録です。
人は生まれ、教育を受け、家庭や社会で生き、やがて死を迎えますが、人生は必ずしも思い通りには進みません。著者は、自らの存在そのものを喜べる今の心境に至った最大の契機を、田池留吉氏との出会いに見出します。
この出会いをきっかけに、肉体や形ある世界を自分とする「肉の思い」から解き放たれ、意識としての自分を感じるようになったのです。二つの体験は、意識の目覚めに向かう準備段階であり、真実に背を向けてきた自分を知るきっかけでもありました。
本書は、過去を赤裸々に見つめ、本当の人生のスタートラインに立った著者の心の軌跡です。
This book gently shares the author's journey of discovering her true self, told through the deeply personal experiences of losing her father and, later, her husband. Rather than seeing these as misfortunes, she reflects on them as milestones—events she believes were chosen before birth to guide her toward awakening.
She begins by recognizing the path most people take: we are born, learn, work, form families, and eventually face death. Life brings both joy and hardship, often leading us to change direction. Through it all, she came to feel that the real measure of life is not how closely it matches our plans, but whether we can be happy simply in the fact that we are alive.
Her turning point came when she met Tomekichi Taike. This encounter opened her to the vastness of the world of consciousness and helped her see herself not just as a physical body, but as an eternal being that transcends this lifetime. She uses the term "flesh" ("niku") to mean not only the body, but the whole mindset that treats the visible world as ultimate—a view she now sees as far from the truth.
Letting go of old beliefs, she began the journey back to what she calls the "true starting line" of life, meeting herself with joy and gratitude. This book is not an appeal for sympathy or agreement, but a personal record—a way for her to face her own foolishness honestly, and to reaffirm the meaning and joy of living as consciousness awakening to its true nature.