著者は「自分の中心を知りたい」との思いでセミナーに参加しますが、当初はチャネリングやパワーに惹かれ、自分の中の力を引き出したいと考えていました。
しかし長く鈍感で心に響かず、母への反省にも強い抵抗を感じていました。
やがて1998〜99年頃から徐々に敏感となり、「闇出し現象」によって田池留吉氏に強く反発するエネルギーを体験。罵声の裏に喜びを感じ、真実の学びに触れていく中で、過去に心酔した教祖の存在が小さく感じられ、誤った宗教観への深い懺悔に至ります。これは氏に特別視された結果ではなく、自らの決意によるものと理解しました。
その後2000年、田池氏のホームページ「反省と瞑想の時間ですよ」と出会い、セミナーと併せて学びを深め、「アルバート」の波動に触れる道を歩み始めました。
The author first joined a seminar hoping to learn how to live as her true self. Early on, she was drawn to channeling and the idea of "power," believing such abilities would speed her progress. Yet for years she felt emotionally unresponsive, as if a thick "shell of the flesh" blocked her from truly resonating. She could understand the teachings in her mind, but not in her heart. When urged to reflect on her relationship with her mother, she felt immediate resistance, revealing a long-standing barrier to warmth and connection.
Around 1998–1999, her sensitivity began to grow. The seminars shifted toward "darkness release" sessions, where participants experienced deep emotional release through "the pointing"—a silent, focused gaze from seminar leader Tomekichi Taike. For her, this often stirred anger and defiance, yet she began to sense joy beneath those reactions, born from facing and letting go of deep-seated energies.
Repeated experiences led her to see the smallness of the religious leader she had once admired. The "power" she had revered was entirely different from the true strength of the world of truth. This realization brought heartfelt repentance for having lived in such a limited view of herself. She understood that her responsiveness to Taike's work came from her own resolve before this lifetime to awaken, even though opportunities existed for everyone.
Around 2000, Taike launched a website, It's Time for Reflection and Meditation. From then on, she learned through both the seminars and the online content, meeting "Albert" in a tangible way. Sensing Albert's vibration for the first time in January 2000, she deepened her study through features like "F-san's Reflections," shifting fully from seeking external power to embracing inner transformation.