著者は、お父さんの鬱病や再発した大腸癌、そして死に至る過程を通じて、自らの意識の転回を深めていきました。
お父さんの病状は1999年後半から2001年初めまで続き、この時間は著者にとって夫の死に続く第二の転機となったのです。お父さんとのやりとりや手紙、瞑想での思いは、「肉体＝自分」という誤った認識を揺るがし、死を恐怖や悲しみではなく喜びとして受け止める視点を育みました。
お父さんは生前、葬儀や仏事を不要とし、自らの死を静かに受け入れる姿を示しました。著者はお父さんを恨み殺すほどの暗い感情を抱きつつも、父が与えてくれた気づきと愛を受け入れ、感謝の思いへと転換。死を通じて「人間は肉体ではなく意識である」と実感し、全ては自らのシナリオ通りであったと理解していくのです。
最後には、真実への道を歩む決意と、「アルバート」との出会いに至る学びの必然性を確信するに至ったのです。
In June 2000, the author's father, long affected by depression, was diagnosed with recurrent colon cancer. He passed away in January 2001. This period—from the time her sensitivity to inner truth began growing in late 1999 until his death—became the second major turning point in her spiritual journey, following her husband's illness and death.
During his final months, she began to question her deep-seated belief that the body defined the self. She saw how much she had feared death and clung to bodily identity. Her father's illness became a lesson in understanding that humans are consciousness, not flesh. She faced the resentment and harsh feelings she had once held toward him, and slowly began to sense the gentle love he had always offered, which she had long ignored.
Her father accepted his mortality without fear. He declined funeral rites and left a final message reflecting on his shortcomings, his wish to live the rest of his days in sincerity, and his awareness of being surrounded by love. His quiet readiness for death showed her what it means to leave without attachment.
Being with him at the end allowed her to experience death not as loss but as affirmation of the truth that consciousness endures. She came to see all her life events—her father's illness, her failed university entrance, marriage, her husband's death, and meeting Tomekichi Taike—as parts of a planned scenario for awakening.
Even her darkest emotions, she realized, had led her to the unchanging warmth within. This warmth, which she calls "Albert," became the heart-to-heart connection with truth she had been seeking. Her father's death, far from a tragedy, confirmed her commitment to live with the certainty that she is eternal consciousness.